Those clever scientific people at Oxford University have spilled the beans and admitted all: they have been running tests on the coins and notes of the realm and the results do not look good. Yes indeed, the great British Coin has a dirty secret, and with up to 26, 000 bacteria on a single note, paper money is even worse.
Bearing in mind some of the places people hide their money, and the way it is passed about from hand to hand, it isn't really surprising that the filthy lucre lives up to its name. But this is not the first time that the pound has been put to the test and found to be a currency that is lacking in currency cleanliness. Earlier tests found bank notes that were harbouring a dodgy bacteria, called Klebsiella, that can cause reparatory infections and mess up your waterworks, which is not good at all because, with the National Health Service being the way it is, nobody want to spend ten or more hours sitting cross legged in accident and emergencies, gasping for breath and praying to God they remembered to lock the lid on their cash box.
Enterobacter is another money-loving bacteria that can cause a list of diseases as long as your arm, some of which may require rectal screening—and nobody wants that!
If you are shocked at the secret life that the British Pound has teeming all over it, you may be relieved to hear that it is not, by any means, the worst offender. The Swiss Franc harbours close to double the amount of bacteria of the British Pound, but the Danish Krone tops the list with a massive 40, 266 bacteria.
According to the old saying 'A fool and his money are soon parted', but with statistics like these, maybe the fool had the right idea all along. So next time you put your hand in your purse, or open your wallet, just remember a few more old sayings: 'Health is better than wealth' and 'Money is the root of all evil'; so 'Neither a lender, nor a borrower be' because 'Where there's muck there's brass' and 'You can't take it with you when you die'.
